Being helpful at our job and towards friends and loved ones should be our number one priorities.

Fear can be a crippling thing, mentally and physically. I've been doing a lot of conscious thinking on the subject, and I realize that fear can control everything we do. We probably don't even know that it's happening.

Take for instance that new romantic partner you've just met. Next time you visit him or her, don't be afraid to say or do the wrong thing. Go with it. Trust the universe. If you're meant to be with each other, to fall in love and stay there, you probably will. If not, no amount of charm or cologne will win that person over.

Too often do we try to manipulate a situation. We are groomed from birth it seems to take what we want. But we've all had sheer disappointment. We've seen things vanish before our eyes, and unforeseen circumstances come along and ruin our carefully laid plans.

I've been thinking about a relationship I recently saw come to an end. I remembered meeting her parents and trying to look like I had everything figured out. I tried looking like the perfect match for their lifestyle. In my head I was doing great. In reality, it wasn't going so hot. I wasn't as head-over-heels for my friend as I thought I was, after all. It was confusing and eventually I realized that enough is enough. It was fear that had me trying so hard to be impressive. And it was exhausting.

But if I was too scared to let go, then what? I know two people right now who are scared to let go. One of them was a great guy about 15 years ago. He was an avid mountain biker, a skydiver and a restauranteur. But he fell in love and divorced and watched his children move away with their mother. And alcoholism took a hold on him. Two DUIs later, this same man was living with his parents again, twice his normal weight. Eventually he became unable to walk and now moves in a wheelchair. His voice, which used to be so witty and together is now shaky and meager. He just found out he has a tumor.

The other person I know is super-fit and good-looking. He is also loving and kind. But he has been keeping himself in between two romantic partnerships for months. Rather than letting go of fear and ridding himself of this love-triangle mess which brings him nothing but heartache (or the fast, fleeting thrill) he chooses to be stuck in it. Sure both women of interest are beautiful, but I can't seem to figure out what makes him think that if he lets go that the universe won't flood him with another beautiful woman that actually fits into place and makes him happy.

Of course, fear stretches beyond relationships. I have another friend struggling with her job. A beautiful woman in her 40s, she's been talking about quitting for over a year. In some cases I believe our jobs are just a means to an end of payment. Maybe we have to save towards something. Maybe a family member needs special care or services that only our salary can provide. Maybe we're young and want to explore the world, or we just want to take our wife and kids to the beach. If that's the case, then simply focus on that each day, even if the job isn't so great. You'll have less anxiety, knowing you're working towards a goal.

Being helpful at our job and towards friends and loved ones should be our number one priorities. If the job is causing her that much pain, maybe she should just cut ties and fall back into the universe for a little while. I find that when we are doing the right thing, not making sex, drugs and alcohol our daily priorities that a wonderful thing happens. The universe says here's a parachute, have a soft landing. We care about you. And thank you.

But none of that happens if we are scared. Fear takes all of our trust and destroys it. It turns our love into jealousy and our spirit of forgiveness into resentment. It ultimately ruins our self-esteem, robs us of our health, and emotional and financial security.

Today, I challenge everyone who reads this to say and do things not from a place of fear, but from a place of love. Practice it if you have to. Remind yourself that you can be yourself even when you are uncomfortable or hurting inside from loss or physical pain. The goal is not to harm anyone. If you are capable of surrendering your will and trusting that the universe will provide for you, I promise you will see wonderful things happen in your life.